Why Hospitality: The Real Reason Being Hospitable Matters
Most people hear the word “hospitality” and think of clean homes and dinner parties. While that is part of being hospitable, it really isn’t the whole picture. There is a deeper meaning and purpose to it that I believe is important for all to embody. And if you’re here reading this post, it’s something either you believe too or you are curious to learn about. First let’s take a look at what the word “hospitable” means.
What It Means to be Hospitable
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word hospitable (adjective) means “given to generous and cordial reception of guests, promising or suggesting generous and friendly welcome, offering a pleasant or sustaining environment, or readily receptive; open.” It’s clear that while being hospitable includes opening your home, it is much more than this. Generosity, cordiality, and a welcoming environment are also key parts.
I also want to take a look at what the Bible says about being hospitable and how it’s defined. The Bible references hospitality in several places, particularly in the New Testament in descriptions of how the Church should act. In Romans 12:9-13, the apostle Paul links hospitality with showing love to others:
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
John also links hospitality to love as well as to service to others in the use of our gifts (3 John 1:8-11):
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
More than specific actions (although I will share those later), being hospitable is an overall attitude and disposition – one of generosity, warmness, openness, and a focus on those around you, or self-forgetfulness.
Why It’s Important to Practice Hospitality
Now we get to the central point of this post: what makes practicing hospitality so important? Why does this resonate with us, and why should we practice it? The act of hospitality meets a deep desire of us as humans: the desire to be known by others, to belong, be connected, and be in community with others. I believe that this is a central concept to the meaning of life. We were made to be relational beings. God created us because he himself is relational in nature (consider the Trinity – I highly recommend “Delighting in the Trinity” by Michael Reeves to learn more about this). Thus, being in community and practicing hospitality is central to our purpose here on earth.
Being hospitable is most definitely a skill that can be learned. As you embody an attitude and disposition of hospitality, you will start to grow a community – but note that this isn’t without intentionality.
How to be Hospitable Today
As I mentioned earlier (and have hopefully made clear in this post), there are many ways to be hospitable along with or even apart from opening your home. Below are some of my favorite ways to practice hospitality. I am no expert in this, and by no means do I do or have I done everything on this list. However, my family and I value both hospitality and community, and these are just some ways that I hope to begin and continue to incorporate hospitality and cultivate community. Remember, it’s about being open, welcoming, generous, kind, and self-forgetful (i.e. – others-focused, not self-focused – I love “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness” by Tim Keller for more on this topic).
- Initiate conversations
Be the one to strike up a conversation with someone. Ask questions, have some basic topics (cultural, biographical [on the other person], current events) ready to go. Spend more time asking questions (and following up in conversation with their answers) than time talking. Ask open-ended questions to help foster conversation. (A great resource on this topic is Phylicia Masonheimer’s “Conversations” series of reels on Instagram.) - Introduce/connect people to each other
This is a great way to help others foster community and is another way to be generous – with your connections! - Send letters to others
Show kindness and love to others through snail mail! Whether it’s just to say hello, send encouragement during a difficult season, or spread seasonal joy, unexpected letters are always appreciated by the recipient. - Remember birthdays/anniversaries
Another great way to show love to others by being others-focused and self-forgetful. - Be welcoming
A general disposition not only at home, but also in your community, at church, etc. - Bring meals to others
Similar to sending letters, this is a great way to show love to others, whether it is a get-well-soon meal, new-mom meal, or even a just-because-I’m-thinking-of-you meal. Spontaneous desserts are also a great way to do this. - Serve others who are homebound or otherwise in need
Sending letters, bringing meals, doing household tasks, or just being there for conversation are all great ways to serve. - Do random acts of kindness
Doing random acts of kindness is a great way to show hospitality to those you know, but also to strangers. - Host gatherings/parties/activities
A great way to foster community, and also an opportunity to connect people to each other, initiate conversations, and overall just be welcoming, warm, and open to others. - Babysit for others
This is a great way to love those with kids. I love the idea of giving spontaneous date nights by coming over to watch someone’s children so they can go and enjoy some time out.
Next Steps
Here are two practical next steps to take so that you can start implementing hospitality into your own life.
- Pick one area you’d like to do from the list above to show hospitality.
- Pick one person/opportunity to do that with this week.
Looking for more?
Life should be lived in community. I understand how frustrating it is to miss an opportunity to connect with someone. I also understand that your desire to make connections and grow a community is strong. That’s why I’m here with resources and products to help you host and create a welcoming atmosphere with ease – no matter your life stage or the state of your home.
