Everything You Need to Know About Envelope Addressing Etiquette
More than even the card, invitation, or letter, my favorite part of any type of mail is the envelope itself. It may seem inconsequential to some, but the envelope tells you so much about what’s inside and sets the tone for what’s to come. It tells you what might be inside (based on its shape), who it’s from, and even whether or not it’s worth opening! So you better believe that paying attention to envelope addressing etiquette is important.
When you are getting married, you’ll want to pay attention to the envelope addressing etiquette so that your event gets communicated accurately with the right feel and level of formality.
What to Include on an Envelope
Depending on the level of formality of your wedding or event, you’ll have to make certain decisions as far as what details to include on the envelopes, as well as whether you want to use both inner and outer envelopes. There are several rules and etiquette situations that you may not be aware of. Below, I’ll go through what to consider when addressing envelopes for both formal and casual events.
Formal Invitations
Traditionally, both inner and outer envelopes are used formally. The outer envelope contains the recipient’s name(s) and address, while the inner envelope allows you to get more specific, or sometimes more casual with first names, depending on the feel of your wedding or event.
When writing the addresses for formal envelopes, be sure to spell out abbreviations such as “Street” or “Avenue,” and include any apartment or unit number on a separate line.
The following rules of etiquette are for the outer envelopes unless otherwise noted. Toggle the tabs below to see details.
When two people are married, address the envelope formally by the man’s name:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe
When two people are not married but live together, include each full name, with the woman’s name first.
Ms. Jane Doe & Mr. John Smith
Address a separate invitation to an adult child even if they live at the same address as their parents who are also invited to the wedding.
If children are invited to the wedding, their names are listed on separate lines beneath the parents’ names. Alternatively, you may write “and family” or “The Smith Family” on the first line of the outer envelope, and when you get to the inner envelope, list each family member’s name who is invited.
If children are not invited to the wedding, omit their names or any mention of “family” or “children.”
The proper way to include a “plus one” is to write “and Guest,” typically just on the inner envelope.
Casual Invitations
These days, basically anything goes for casual envelope addressing etiquette. Feel free to omit the Mr./Mrs., list the woman’s name first, use familial nicknames or break any of the formal rules listed above. Essentially, take the parts you like from formal etiquette and change the parts you don’t. As casual envelopes don’t typically include an inner envelope, feel free to combine that information onto the outer envelope, such as listing out family members’ names, including “and Guest,” and so on.
Envelope Addressing Basics
So where does all this go? Most people know there are some basic parts of an envelope: the recipient, the sender, and the postage. The recipient goes in the middle of the envelope, the sender in the top left corner, and the postage goes in the top right corner. No matter what, these things need to go in these basic areas.
You can omit the sender, but it’s not recommended. It’s also debated if you can put it on the flap side of an envelope. While I have successfully mailed envelopes both with no sender and with the sender on the flap, the risk is that if an envelope gets lost or is undeliverable, you’ll never know because it won’t be able to make its way back to you.
General Postage Costs and Tips
Don’t forget about postage! As of May 2022, standard rectangular envelopes start at $0.58 each through First Class mail with USPS. Square envelopes, large envelopes, overweight envelopes (over 3.5 oz), and thick envelopes all require extra postage. For current pricing with USPS, visit their website.
When sending envelopes that include wax seals, ribbons, or other buttons or claps, the post office will need to hand cancel them, meaning instead of sending them through a machine, a postal worker will need to manually stamp each one. Some post offices allow you to do this for them, if you ask at the desk. This may save you some fees if you offer to hand cancel your envelopes for them.
A quick note about vintage postage: Vintage postage is a beautiful way to step up the look of your envelopes! Just note that it will be more expensive, as the cost of the stamp (what you are paying to get the stamp) may cost more than the value of the stamp (what is written on the stamp as its value and what the post office uses to determine its value in order to send it through the mail). If you’d like help sourcing vintage stamps, I am happy to do so!
Seems a bit overwhelming?
Prefer to pass this off on someone else? That’s what I’m here for! Envelope addressing is my absolute favorite. All you need to do is send me a spreadsheet with your guests’ names and addresses (I have a template for you), and then I do the work to write them on all your envelopes! Available a la carte – apart from stationery/invites! For more information and a free quote, hit the button below to inquire!
